My first day at school- Beth Grew
“I don’t want to go ma!” I pleaded. All of my mates from pre-school were going to St Michaels, but I had to go to Hill Side ‘cos it was closer. I wanted to go to St Michaels with James and Joe ‘cos then I could ride the bus! I’ve only ridden the bus once in the whole of my life and that was when I was five. I remember that I was crying so much the bus driver got all hot like a bull and said something rude to me ma on the way out.
My teacher got all hot like a bull as well today. We were all reading our books in form time and I started laughing ‘cos a boy on my table almost fell off his chair. He managed not to laugh, but I couldn’t. I burst like a balloon! Mr Jones told me to stand in the corner and face the wall.
My pa made me do that once. I had cut a bit of my little sister Kate’s hair off when she was 3 with my plastic scissors. She cried but I didn’t understand why though; I hadn’t cut her head. Oh she did look funny for lots and lots of weeks! Then my pa told me off and his shiny head got shinier with beads of sweat and went all red like a tomato and told me to stand in the corner for ten minutes. I think he forgot about me ‘cos I was there for so long.
Mr Jones made me stand in the corner for a whole fifteen minutes. That was horrid of him, but I think it went quicker than when pa put me in the corner because I had lunch after.
Lunch is the best; and breakfast, and dinner, and break, and pudding. It’s my favourite time of the day! For lunch I had a yummy crisp sandwich. I swapped my filling ‘cos I don’t like ham, for a packet of crisps off me new mate Harry. Harry’s great! He plays football for Ballyfermot and he says he’s the best in the team. He also makes me laugh-he’s the one that almost fell off his chair- and we were joking about how Mr Jones turned into a living vegetable!
My teacher told me that if it has seeds it is a fruit, so I don’t know if a tomato is even a vegetable or not. I don’t like fruit so I shouldn’t like tomatoes, but I do. I don’t like cooked tomatoes though ‘cos they’re too squishy and soggy, just like mud off me wellies after walking with me granny. She’s great she is. She buys me new footballs and bakes me the yummiest cookies in the entire whole world!
I had a cookie today for my lunch. I bought it for 20p with my own pocket money at the school canteen. They weren’t as good as me granny’s but still mouth-wateringly delicious. Harry bought one as well, but his pa gave him money to pay for his.
My pa doesn’t give me a lot of pocket money. Only one pound a week. Harry gets twice that amount! Harry says not to worry that I don’t get that amount yet. He says when he plays for United with Wayne Rooney; he will split his money with me. I’ll be a millionaire, better that, a gazillionaire! I could buy all the toys in the world and Harry and I would play Ben Ten forever.
“I don’t want to go ma!” I pleaded. All of my mates from pre-school were going to St Michaels, but I had to go to Hill Side ‘cos it was closer. I wanted to go to St Michaels with James and Joe ‘cos then I could ride the bus! I’ve only ridden the bus once in the whole of my life and that was when I was five. I remember that I was crying so much the bus driver got all hot like a bull and said something rude to me ma on the way out.
My teacher got all hot like a bull as well today. We were all reading our books in form time and I started laughing ‘cos a boy on my table almost fell off his chair. He managed not to laugh, but I couldn’t. I burst like a balloon! Mr Jones told me to stand in the corner and face the wall.
My pa made me do that once. I had cut a bit of my little sister Kate’s hair off when she was 3 with my plastic scissors. She cried but I didn’t understand why though; I hadn’t cut her head. Oh she did look funny for lots and lots of weeks! Then my pa told me off and his shiny head got shinier with beads of sweat and went all red like a tomato and told me to stand in the corner for ten minutes. I think he forgot about me ‘cos I was there for so long.
Mr Jones made me stand in the corner for a whole fifteen minutes. That was horrid of him, but I think it went quicker than when pa put me in the corner because I had lunch after.
Lunch is the best; and breakfast, and dinner, and break, and pudding. It’s my favourite time of the day! For lunch I had a yummy crisp sandwich. I swapped my filling ‘cos I don’t like ham, for a packet of crisps off me new mate Harry. Harry’s great! He plays football for Ballyfermot and he says he’s the best in the team. He also makes me laugh-he’s the one that almost fell off his chair- and we were joking about how Mr Jones turned into a living vegetable!
My teacher told me that if it has seeds it is a fruit, so I don’t know if a tomato is even a vegetable or not. I don’t like fruit so I shouldn’t like tomatoes, but I do. I don’t like cooked tomatoes though ‘cos they’re too squishy and soggy, just like mud off me wellies after walking with me granny. She’s great she is. She buys me new footballs and bakes me the yummiest cookies in the entire whole world!
I had a cookie today for my lunch. I bought it for 20p with my own pocket money at the school canteen. They weren’t as good as me granny’s but still mouth-wateringly delicious. Harry bought one as well, but his pa gave him money to pay for his.
My pa doesn’t give me a lot of pocket money. Only one pound a week. Harry gets twice that amount! Harry says not to worry that I don’t get that amount yet. He says when he plays for United with Wayne Rooney; he will split his money with me. I’ll be a millionaire, better that, a gazillionaire! I could buy all the toys in the world and Harry and I would play Ben Ten forever.
(Beth took inspiration from the very great book 'Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha' by the Irish writer Roddy Doyle).
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